Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Be a Good Friend to Your Husband

Our women's bible study had a wedding shower for a lady in our group. And the leader of the study asked us to give her some wisdom.

When she had said this, the first thing that came to my mind was be a good friend. But what does that look like? There were things going through my mind and I came up with ten. 

1. Pray for him
Pray that your man will be a man after God's own heart. He will grow and fruit will bear in his life.

2. Let him know you will walk through fire with him
Sometimes things will get hard in your marriage and difficult decisions will be made. If he knows you support him, it will encourage him to press forward.

3. Let him know he is Superman
In year one or two of marriage, we will have sweet things to say. But, at times, we can forget to encourage him because we are busy or we have a honey do list for him that is endless. We need to take the time to remind them that they our are superheros.

4. Encourage him
Let him know how much you love and our proud of him. Those words can go a long way for a man. We need to be women that build our houses up and not tear them down because our words can make or break our spouses. Our words need to be seasoned with grace.

5. Let him lead, and let him fall
This is a hard one because, if you're like me, you like to control things. However, our pastor said it well. "Ladies, you got to let us lead, and you have to let us fall." Ouch! That's not what I want to hear until a friend told me about her parents. Her dad wanted to start a business and her mother thought it was a bad idea. Finally, she let him do it and they ended up losing everything. But my friend told me her dad wouldn't be the humble man he is today if that hadn't happened.

Yes, we should confront sin but we also have to remember God is in control and we have to let the Lord work in their hearts in His time and His way. We are not the Holy Spirit.

6. You're not his momma, mummy, mom, mum, ma
You're his wife, lover, and friend.

7. Intimacy
I think sex is important to a man. And there are some wives that love it and others that don't. If it is something you don't love, I would encourage you to ask the Lord for help. I was taught it was nasty and horrible and that mindset transferred  to my marriage. Thankfully, the Lord helped me through my wrong view and allowed me to show intimacy to my husband. As a reminder though, we need to teach our spouses that timing is everything. :)

8. Hold hands
I love when I see older couples holding hands and loving each other. It is such a sweet moment and very encouraging to my own heart. As younger women, we need to do the same even when we may be upset with him. It may be hard but it speaks volumes.

9. Be quick to forgive and quick to ask forgiveness
This can be hard one but we really want to clothe ourselves in humility. And learn to walk humbly with the Saviour because pride will kill a friendship.

10. Pray
Keep praying for him. Pray that he will do things for you and the family because those are good things to pray for. However, the most important thing is to pray that his heart is inclined to Christ. That Christ is and will be his first love. Byron and Robin Yawn said this in their book What Every Woman Wishes Her Father Had Told Her:

"In a mysterious way, consistent with the rest of  Christianity, she does not need him to pay more attention to her, but to Christ more desperately. This prayerful desire honors God, demonstrates respect for her husband, and keeps the focus off of self. But reciprocally, an increased devotion to the risen Lord in him results in an increased devotion to her."

I'm sure I'm repeating what many of you already know. But I know I need to remind myself about this on a daily basis. I love and adore my husband and I want him to know it all the time through my actions and speech.

May we pray for our spouses faithfully and may we saturate ourselves in the word daily. And let us watch as the Lord changes not only our husbands but us into the image of our sweet Saviour.


  1. I love this list! It really is so essential to love on our hubbys and be their best friends. It's definitely my favorite part of being married! :-)

    1. I know it is a great part of being married. Thanks for sharing and reading.

  2. These are great reminders of how to better love & serve our spouse, Ladonna! #5 & #6 are my favorites!! Thanks for this, friend!